So when I learned about Carlson’s success with her support network, I decided to ask her to share some tips about how you can make dating your next healthy choice: Tip #1: Let yourself be complete and whole “It’s easy to jump right into a new relationship,” she says, “but if you want to attract a healthy relationship, it starts with being healthy yourself.” You deserve the time to heal, no matter how long it takes.
Six years after the death of her beloved husband, Carlson, has yet to remarry and says she’s just now “starting to warm up to the idea.” Tip #2: Let the first relationships you have be the transitions that they are “My first encounter [after Richard] was a healing relationship,” she says.
Tip #4: Wait until you’re ready It took Carlson more than a year before she would put herself out there on the dating block, and she only went there because she felt like it was time. If you’re unsure how to know when that is, she says your biological clock will tell you.
“Something will click, and you’ll just know.” Tip #5: If all else fails, grab a vibrator Seriously. This new time alone with yourself gives you the best opportunity to explore your own needs, your own body, your own desires.
Year two is going to be about finding her and giving her what she needs.
In many ways, I miss my husband more today than I did early on. I guess year one knew I couldn’t handle all of the revelations at once so it saved plenty for year two.
I’m getting better at letting go of hurt, disappointment and negativity.I stayed up really late last night, maybe subconsciously to avoid waking up to today. I needed to identify any progress I made in order to figure out how I am going to deal with my sophomore year in grief. I hate the part before the comma and I certainly hate the part after the comma. The start of the second year has also caused me to pause and reflect back on my first year as a widow.I’m trying to be less selfish about the shake-up of my inner circle. There’s been a little bit of getting used to pain in this first year, although my heart is far from calloused.
Although it’s true that maybe I cry softer and maybe even less frequently, the pain hasn’t really lessened. My wound still bleeds, but there aren’t as many new cuts.
The first days and weeks after losing my husband I wasn’t sure how I’d survive, or if I even wanted to.