Below are the available fitness options, and their real life translation.(I want to make clear that I am truly not trying to make fun of the overweight here.
Where women can be prideful of their curves, so are men about their muscles.These are separate categories, but for the life of me I have no idea what the difference is between them. And why does “Big and Beautiful” get an ameliorating adjective when no one else does? And there does seem to be a peculiar circumstance where women who probably belong in “A Few Extra Pounds” place themselves in “Athletic and Toned,” just to, I don’t know, throw people off the scent?Does full-figured mean that you’re big but distinctly not beautiful? So I’m sufficiently confused by these people to stay away altogether.That is until so-called “average” men start contacting me.
To put it as nicely as possible, it has been brought to my attention that men have an entirely different understanding of the word “average.” As I said, emails like this one from Kelly have been common over the last week, and I agree with the general thrust of her argument: people lie like rugs.
Like “you could slip me under a locked door” necessary. I’ve been out with triathletes who for some reason consider their physique average, and bigger-sized women who weren’t willing to jump up to the higher categories. So when someone tells you they’re About Average, all they’re really saying is that they’re alive and a human. We should probably all be in this category, but we won’t admit it to ourselves, so let’s just move on. Unfortunately, ladies, the curvy category doesn’t exist for dudes. I think they’re nice ways of saying fat, but everyone who reads them just understands them as fat, so I really don’t know what the point is.