Maybe you just stopped believing in the kind of naive love that you can only trust when you're young. Embrace your new reality For every 20-something entering the gay dating scene full of wide-eyed wonder, there's a 50-something (or a 60-, 70- or older-something) man back on the market after a relationship ends. Your next romantic partner will benefit from all of that, and from your passions for the life that's in front of you. Give up trying to be perfect, too, especially if that's a code word for "young." Yes, it's important to take care of your body and your health, but no need to obsess.But what about the deeper, more mature love that allows for the wide spectrum of experience and truth? One is learning the rules; the other has "been there, dated that" and wonders, "Now what? Instead of trying to be 25 again, get comfortable in your skin. That way, when someone touches you, they'll really feel you, and not a bundle of self-critical tension.When it comes to truth in advertising, it's one thing to shave a couple of years off. Maybe you're more careful about first dates and immediately nix a pointless second night out.You're quick to assess if your date wants the same level of relationship as you, whether that's casual or committed.And, if you haven't already, try online dating, which is bringing new hope to those of us who don't have a ton of time or want to hang out at bars.
Now it might be comforting to find a partner who can relate to your experiences and your outlook, and has the same pop culture references you do.For example, if you like the outdoors, join a gay hiking or walking group, and meet men while you get fresh air and exercise.Focus on smaller parties, events centered on hobbies and interests, and volunteer opportunities.It's also a good idea to ask your closest friends for regular feedback (yes, ask them to give you input on your actions and choices), so you don't get stuck in your ways. Realize you can be single and happy Hey, you don't have to tell me it's tough being gay, single and over 50.
It's not like gay subculture has given us lots of happily dating, older gay male role models."Within the gay community, negative stereotypes reinforce the belief that gay relationships are based solely on physical attraction, and that once youth starts to fade, we are unlikely to have any real or lasting relationships," says Rik Isensee, author of Are You Ready? And remember that the most important characteristics — loyalty, humor, intelligence and compassion — are ageless.