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Second, there's the issue of expectations you two have not discussed.

This situation underlines the importance of checking in with one's spouse or partner about the various aspects of long-term relationships: finances, in-laws, jobs, children (if any), housekeeping, plans, and sex. So, even though you said your vows and have been together for a while, it sounds like the topic of online chatting and surfing porn sites never came up.

Other people are willing to concede that cybersex without the knowledge of their partner, ; nevertheless, some still maintain it's a type of "OK" cheating.

In some circumstances, cybersex may in fact help a person through a rough period in an offline, loving relationship.

These people believe that if they do not even know the real name of their cybermate—and never actually see them—their affair cannot be regarded as from a moral point of view; it's no different from reading a novel or other form of entertainment.

In other words, a way to play out fantasies in a safe environment.

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First, your husband offers an explanation for his behavior that is possible, but not highly believable.People assume that because they are with a person they know pretty well, they also know how their mate feels about these topics. Sit down with your husband to have this discussion.

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